Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam...or do he?

Sometimes it's just so good to take a plunge into the moment and not think about the why and where and how and what and when. What's with this never ending race for meaning and for putting things together and finding comfort in the stupidest reasonings. Sometimes (most of the times, I daresay always) things are just the way they are because they are like that. We are nibbling at details and meanings and feelings and a intricate web of shoudacouldawoulda and then at an Advil to be able to deal with the whole shit.

I was riding that long long train from the suburbs to Paris for a long long time, and stumbled upon good ol' Kurt. And I felt sorry for him, well, actually not for him, I felt sorry he had to cut deep into things and too much into himself looking for something (or not) and he just came to the end of everything too abruptly. Or at least this is what I like to imagine. Maybe if it weren't for his life ending too soon (as if there's a standard duration of life and whoever does not reach at least 60 is "too young to die") I'd have listened to this song differently, but now it's just something that goes well with whatever is going on in my brain and words can't spit it out. I count on that accordion to do it instead of my grey matter, which is sometimes awfully lazy.

And now, obviously, I'm missing the right words. Instead of an ode to the one who just sits there and has the weight of the world on his shoulders, I actually feel sorry for myself. Coz I'm not sure this is exactly what I was meaning to say...anyways, our Kurt is translating my thoughts into something I'd have to translate back and see if it makes any sense. Oh, yeah, I forgot, I wasn't looking for sense, just a nice song to replay and replay and replay and stay trapped in those lingering sounds and that dirty train. It is however sad he let "life" get the better part of him.