vendredi 2 septembre 2011

And the answer is...

"Look at it this way: Does it bother you that there are places outside your skin - and you're not in them? That you come to a sudden end at the top of your skull - and then there's nothing but air? Of course not. So why should it bother you that there'll be times when you won't be around - any more than you care that there are places that you don't occupy? You think your life is going to be undone - cancelled out somehow - just because it has an end? Does the space above your head cancel out your body? Everything has boundaries. Nothing stretches on forever - in any direction."

"It's seeing the life of your body as the life of one person that's the illusion. The idea that "you" are made up of all the events since your birth is nothing but a useful fiction. That's not a person: it's a composite, a mosaic [...] One day, someone, somewhere, will think as you did, act as you did. Even if it's only for a second or two, that person will be you." (Greg Egan, The Walk, Axiomatic)

If I didn't know better, I would think that I'm unique. That my eyes somehow see things differently, that my brain functions in a very original way, providing me night and day with feelings and emotions noone else could ever experience. That somehow, "I" exist in a certain place and time, and everything else revolves around "me". And on the other hand, there's this void looking back at me, like a twisted, dark mirror, every time I start asking questions, as stupid as they may be. They can be very stupid. I am actually swallowing my own tail and imperceptibly becoming that void altogether. And I'm not even sad, not even scared, it's the way things should be, I can't do anything to change this and I don't even want to. So what if there's another human being who thinks and acts just like me? It can be "me", why worry about this? Why become desperate, unless I believed that there was something utterly original, impossible to reproduce, about me? There isn't. "Me" isn't.

The answer to life the universe and everything is 42 (and we are most probably just stardust, right?).

2 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

girl, you have some "curly ideas" :))
the feeling or mortality, of being limited by skin, or mental capacity or whateva', it's normal, I guess.
and the answer might be 42, but I really don't care.
if you let go, you can feel all the limits fading away, and that's what I'm working on :) no more tail chasing life, no more dark mirror and no void fitting between some lines, 'cause there are no lines :)

Ioana a dit…

it might be normal, it's just not very "real"...and the answer IS 42, don't u know The Hitchhiker's Guide through the Galaxy? :)

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